was looking at some pics on multiply when this guy caught my attention...

oh well?

"who is he?"

eh eh.nothing else i can say. ;)

I know it was going to dark.
I lay across the bed.
I sat.
Legs folded.
I curl up into a small ball wrapping my arms around my legs.
My bed was next to the table where a tray of food waited, then I began picking at it without noticing what I was eating. I could hear low buzz of voices coming from the tv, but still silence drifted through me like a deserted section of the

freeway.

Then it began to dawn on me that I was too still.

So this is how its gonna be without HIM.
Sad. Lonely . Damn it! Loneliness doesn’t kill – its merely incapacitating.
It works slowly spreading through my bloodstream, then there is too much emotional pain. TOO MUCH I don’t know how to escape it. As long as m y heart keeps beating, sadness spreads, bleeding, hurting, then id hope my heart stops because all the time it was beating, every minute of it, I was wishing for death.
Suddenly,I had a glimpse of our picture as I looked pass through the table. There it was, there we are, damn good looking together.
I gulped
. Loneliness slowly subsided as I looked into his eyes.
The sleepy eyes I always love. Then I was calm, but even as calmness spread over me, I knew I wont be able to look at those wonderful eyes for the next one million years because I would be losing him. . .
Again, there is pain.

Finally.
It dawn on me that I'm being too still, like a deserted section of a freeway.
I've been longing for this to come.
Waiting.
LIFE. I'm getting it back.
It was wonderful to be with you.
We were happy.
We belong to happiness.
but I am trying to fix my self now.
Remember the Meg&Dia song?

look in my eyes, "i simply give up but i didn't let go without struggle you know i still love you, its just, its just one of those things.''

Peace.
Lets go give and get each other that.
Peace of mind and heart. :)

I am happy now.
but I'll stupidly hang on to what you said,that:

"there are no goodbyes, you'll always be in my heart, always because i got you some space here."

I hope you are happy.
It's better now.

p.s.
thank you to all the people who gave me hope,
a shoulder to cry on,
hanky's to sneeze on,
and yeah
the alcohol..
i am yours now, i am back. :)

( when I'm 30 and still single I'll mary my pest friend. I love you pj. Thank you)

okay..

Life sucks and then you die.

Yeah, I should be lucky, so lucky when my heart skip a beat seeing him georeously walking towards me.

The crystal-clear memory of the first night we had, it was sparkly and blissful.

Hes got weak and sleepy eyes.

our first kiss-it took all my focus.

our night, it was January then, he's like My mid-summer nights dream.

I smiled.

We are happy.

We belonged to happiness.

A whit light against the dark shadow, keeping and making every moment for perfection.

The joy was impossible.

I must be damned.