@#$%^&

I know it was going to dark.
I lay across the bed.
I sat.
Legs folded.
I curl up into a small ball wrapping my arms around my legs.
My bed was next to the table where a tray of food waited, then I began picking at it without noticing what I was eating. I could hear low buzz of voices coming from the tv, but still silence drifted through me like a deserted section of the

freeway.

Then it began to dawn on me that I was too still.

So this is how its gonna be without HIM.
Sad. Lonely . Damn it! Loneliness doesn’t kill – its merely incapacitating.
It works slowly spreading through my bloodstream, then there is too much emotional pain. TOO MUCH I don’t know how to escape it. As long as m y heart keeps beating, sadness spreads, bleeding, hurting, then id hope my heart stops because all the time it was beating, every minute of it, I was wishing for death.
Suddenly,I had a glimpse of our picture as I looked pass through the table. There it was, there we are, damn good looking together.
I gulped
. Loneliness slowly subsided as I looked into his eyes.
The sleepy eyes I always love. Then I was calm, but even as calmness spread over me, I knew I wont be able to look at those wonderful eyes for the next one million years because I would be losing him. . .
Again, there is pain.